November 8, 2013

Whenever You're Ready.

Hello world. It's been awhile since i last posted anything on this blog. A lot has happened, I can tell you that! I find it hard to believe myself. Let me just give you a quick update to what's new in my world.

1. I am working in a local hospital near my house.
2. I got engaged on the 6th of October 2012.
3. I got married on the 1st of March 2013.
4. I am currently 9 months pregnant :)


If someone would have told me 10 years ago that in 2013 I will be someone's wife and not long after that a mother,I would probably say : shut. up. :)

For someone who hated changes, I can't believe I'm actually going through possibly the biggest changes of my life. The transition from being a single girl to a mature wife (i can imagine my husband rolling his eyes), was rather a smooth one I should say. But what I'm afraid of the most right now is being a mother.

What do I know of being a mother? I am a kid myself! I feel like I should attend a briefing or a course or something on "How to become a mother." Like when before we started work, we had to go to this induction course where they basically told us what working life would be like for us, and how to cope with it. At least we have an idea of what's waiting for us...

So anyway, I am already on leave right now. Just waiting for my baby to make his/her grand entrance to the world. Although I am a nervous wreck just thinking about the day, but I just keep telling my now very huge 37 weeks tummy, "Whenever you're ready, baby" :)

May 25, 2012

Take Good Care of My Baby

by Neil Sedaka.

To my best friend's future wife, (by two hours)

Hi there, we've never met before, and i don't really know you, but what I know is that you're the luckiest girl today. For today, you'll be marrying a wonderful, sweet, caring, and loving guy...

Anyway, I think you should know that by now, that he's one hell of a great guy... He's really not that hard to figure out. Just be familiar with this 3 golden rules; 1) Dont let him be without food when he's hungry. 2) Don't let him get too tired and 3) never let him be without you for too long. Remember this and you should be fine :) All he needs is love actually. Just give him the attention that he needs and deserve. He has come a long way to be where he is today. Be there for him.

I guess I should say stuff like if you hurt him, ill hurt you (but i really will). But I know nobody's perfect. And I know it's hard to be patient with him sometimes. There'll be times when you would feel him being distant to u. Do not push him. Give him some space. He'll come running back to you when he's ready. At times you'll feel like he doesnt get you. But he does, he just pretends that he doesnt. I dont know, its a guy thing i guess. He's sensitive too, please dont change that bout him, thats what makes him special. He's not good at expressing things verbally, but if you pay attention to the littlest things that he does, you can actually feel it.

Today is the day that I have to give up my title as his bestfriend which i have been holding for 8 years, to you. You're the most rightful person for the job. He's all yours now.

So anyway, you probably hate me more now for this letter, well I dont mean anything by it. I just hope you'll take good care of our man, and treat him right, for he only deserves the best of everything. All I'm saying is that in the future, if ever you should discover, that you don't really love him, to quote Neil Sedaka in his song, please, just send my baby back home to me...


March 19, 2012

Forbidden Affair.

From a novel I love...

"...And I smiled. Ofcourse I smiled. He's coming. I arrived at the airport at 1 am, and chose a bench in front of the French cafe to sit and wait for him. The place was quite secluded. People can be seen sleeping on nearby benches, while waiting for their connecting flights, just like me. I read "Eat, Pray, Love" just to pass the time, although i kept reading the same line over and over again. Apparently it's hard to concentrate when your heart is pounding rather quite loudly. Half an hour later, he texted me saying that he had arrived. Moments later I saw him walking towards me, and just like that the world died down for awhile, and all i could see was him. My heart forgot to do what it was made to do. As he came nearer, I felt at ease again. It was always like this. He sat next to me on the bench, and we chatted like old friends do. About 15 minutes into the conversation, he took my hand in his, sending unnecessary blood supplies to my cheeks. I immediately melted in his arms. Everything of mine fits with him. Every inch of me felt like a compliment to his. It felt so right, like this is how it should be. Then it was almost morning, he looked really sleepy. I offered my lap for him to rest his head, and he took it. It was all so romantic and sweet. He looks comfortable enough, lying there, while i ran my fingers through his hair. I couldnt asked for more. He fell a sleep moments later, for one whole hour, I could barely feel my legs anymore, but I was so afraid to move, afraid that he would wake up. I dont want this to end just yet. I watched him sleep, this is all so perfect. But all I could think of was "Why are you here with me? Why are you here when you know you're not mine? When you're going to leave me again soon. When you're going to hurt me again soon. Why do you hate me so much that you keep on hurting me. Come morning you'll be gone and leave me with yet another beautiful memory for me to cry over, alone." A tear escaped and I brushed it off quickly before it fell on his face and this turns into a fairy tale, or something. While he was sleeping, I continue on reading the novel in one hand, because the other was holding his on his chest..
...He woke up a while later. To have him wake up right in front of me is the greatest feeling ever. He kissed my hand and said Hey. I wanted to remember exactly how he looked like, knowing that this is as close as I can get to being with him. For a moment I pretended that he was actually mine. For a moment I pretended that he is without someone else and that Im the only one that he wants. For a moment I imagined that those eyes would only look at me that lovingly. I pretended for a moment, that the whole world gives us way to be together, just for one night. For a moment, I was deeply in love."

December 24, 2011

Someone Like You.

I was doing okei.
Until I came across this link, accidentally.

I have nothing to say, except for sometimes you feel stupid and angry for being in a situation that any fool could see that you shouldn't be in.

but I guess sometimes,
you're not the only one.

December 15, 2011

October 21, 2011

Be My Baby.

by the Ronettes.

"I'll make you happy baby, just wait and see.
For every kiss you give me, i'll give you three.
Oh since the day I saw you, I have been waiting for you
You know I will adore you till eternity."

Sooooo it's been awhile huh.
Let me see, let me see.
Oh yeah I am done with my clinical rotation.
That means I'm done with medical school.
Which means I am now......a doctor?!?!
Owh. my. God *mcm Janice from F.R.I.E.N.D.S*
Im seriously both thrilled and scared.
Well more to being scared actually.
But am getting used to the life right now.
For instance, its only 7.40pm, i am already in bed and the lights are already out :D
i am bored. so very bored people.
i think i would rather be bored at home.
but i cant go back just yet, coz ill be graduating in November.
so i'll only come home after.
I've done a lil bit of packing. but it just seems impossible.
tell me again how do u pack 5 years of your life into tiny little boxes?
i am now addicted to the narvaez family, the ones on youtube.
both girls, eliana and alexa, stole my heart right from the start.
other than that, well nothing much to tell.
both excited and nervous to start my new journey back in Malaysia :)
a little note to self:
Please, please, be strong.

"So won't you please,
Be my baby?"

September 17, 2011

I Got Nothing Left.

Life has a funny way of teasing you.

You go along building courage to build your heart up again from scratch, glue-ing the bits and pieces back carefully, sheltering it from the rain or storm or anything that reminded you of what broke it in the first place and as time goes by, your heart starts looking like a heart again, instead of a puddle of broken glasses. But then, just for fun i assume, life blows you wind, or throws you a look-alike, or an extremely vivid dream, and like breeze upon your fragile heart,

it starts to rock.