August 30, 2009

Return To Sender.

i found this old note book of mine, where i wrote stuff at the last few pages. there were my unfinished thoughts, half written poems , unsent letters, which frankly speaking, i don't even remember when i wrote it, or for whom it was intended for :)) full of emotions i must say. must be some time ago. so i thought i'd give it a little bit of fresh air that it deserves, and so i'm posting a couple of it here:) have a nice laugh.

poem #1
You asked, "Love,
When did you know
I belong to you?"
I said, "Love,
I've always known."
When we're in the middle of a masterpiece,
But all I could see is you.
When we're shivering in the rain,
But all I feel is the warmth of your hand.
Lost in a wave of emotions,
But all I could think of is you.
When the crowd dies down,
And all I could see is your face.
When the music stops,
But we're still dancing to the sound of our beating heartbeats,
And that's when I knew Love,
I belong to you.

Poem #2
I wish you knew,
How your mood affects mine,
How the look on your face sets the mood of my day,
How many stolen glances I took,
while you carelessly look away.
How the scent of you makes me feel safe.
How the voice of your thoughts
sings in my mind like crashing waves.
How the things that you said
linger longer then you ever stayed.
How much I kept inside of me and I never said,
That you're the one for me,
My one and my only,
My love and my heart,
_______(fill in the blank)

hey, i never said i was good at it;)

August 26, 2009

I "fell" for you.

well, thats just it.

i heard u, and i missed a step.

haihh bila farina glabah...

Say Goodbye.

hi..

I am supposed to be studying anatomy right now...

owh it's 4.42am by the way...

and i am so sleeeepy...

anyway, while performing solat terawikh in the masjid semalam, suddenly blackout plak. it was kinda cool though, to be praying in the dark. and plus the masjid is kinda open, it was as though we were praying under the stars. funny how when there's light u never notice just how bright the stars twinkle... well thats only normal, we tend to take things for granted anyway kan...

anyway, this song below is the song which has been keeping me down for the past few days, and it's just a song from s club 7 plak tu. i blame firas.

Say Goodbye

In the years to come,
will you think about these moments that we share?
In the years to come,
Are we gonna think it over and how we lived each day with no regrets.
Nothing lasts forever though we want it to
The road ahead holds different dreams for me and you
Sometimes goodbye though it hurts in your heart
is the only way for destiny,
Sometimes goodbye though it hurts in your hert
is the only way now for you and me,
Though it's the heardest thing to say,
I'll miss your love in every way,
So say goodbye, but don't you cry
True love never dies.
In a year from now,
maybe there be things we wish we never say,
In a year from now,
maybe we'll see each other,
standing on the same street corner no regrets.
Each and every end is always written in the stars,
If only I could stop the world,
I'd make this last.
And when you need my arms to run into I'll come for you
Nothing will ever change the way I feel.
Sometimes goodbye though it hurts in your heart,
It's the only way for destiny,
Sometimes goodbye though it hurts in your heart,
It's the only way now for you and me,
Though it's the hardest thing to say,
I miss your love in every way,
So say goodbye,
But don't you cry, true love never dies.

August 22, 2009

Don't Let Me Fall.

"Underneath the moon,
Underneath the stars,
Here's a little heart for you...
Up above the world,
Up above it all,
Here's a hand to hold on to"

orang yang first skali create film yang macam Kodak tu mesti kecewa, now that people don't use it anymore. penat dia cipta.. dulu selalu beli film, ape2 sikit2 mesti cari film, sekarang kedai jual film pun x pandang dh... kesian fari...i mean film (emo)

"But if i should break,
If i should fall away,
What am I to do?
I need someone to take
A little of the weight
Or I'll fall through"

i miss that, the thrill of capturing limited pictures sbb takut film habes, the joy of sending it to the shop (kedai gambar TERE, Kulim), the wait, the anticipation, did THE gmbar turn out allright?? did i close my eyes?? did he smile? were we standing so far apart? or too close?? haha x tdo mlm fikir.. now dont have that anymore, skarang capture la seribu gmbr pun boleh, balik just plug and play kat laptop, drool over "the pictures", pastu dah, owh buat wallpaper laptop jap haaha , lepastu dh, frame gmbar pun dh lama x beli..
why am i membebel-ing about this...macik btul
"We will be alright
I'll be by your side,
I won't let you down.
But I gotta know,
No matter how things go,
That you will be around."

you know the thing at the back of the car, yang macam sensor tu, if you go toooo close with something at the back then it'll bunyi? okei if my heart has that, it would certainly bunyi like real kuat right now. like giving me a warning, "careful you fool, this looks like the same trap we fell for over and over again". hahahaihhh... the thing is, this time its different kut (yeah haktui). It's like i found a bird with a broken wing. i just want to help get it back on its feet, and then i'll let it fly. you can't expect me to just leave it like that kan..
i PLAN not to get too attach,
i HOPE i won't,
i THINK i've learned my lesson.
sungguh tidak meyakinkan. *cue audible sebat*

"You're just the one that I've been waiting for,
I'll give you all that I have to give and more,
But don't let me fall."

August 15, 2009

Love Song For No One.

hi evryone, my name is MissC, and i have a problem.

*everyone* hi, MissC

I am a change-ophobic. That means i am afraid of changes. I'm not only afraid of it, i hate it. Why, why must people change?? If its for the better then it's fine by me, but for the worse i just can't understand. Things were going great and then suddenly, out of nowhere, *poof* people took a 360degrees turn, totally took me by surprise and changed into this new evil person i feel like i don't even know anymore. why can't things just stay the same. that is all im asking, for you to just stay the same. don't change on me. just stay.

haihhh

i have a lot of work to do, and yet i am not doing anything. plus i have this gastric stomach pain again. but i didnt miss my meals pun, so it could only mean one thing. yeah, you.

haihhh

thats all ive been doing lately. haihh-ing my life away. and plus my heart is breaking, no no not just because of my problems, it's because of someone else's too this time. kesian dia. im sorry you have to go through this. i feel your pain. we just have to be more careful in choosing people to be close with after this.

haihhh

i saw bride wars yesterday. and i like something someone said in there.


"Sometimes in life there really are bonds formed that can never be broken. Sometimes you really can find that one person who will stand by you no matter what. Maybe you'll find it in a spouse adn celebrate it with your dream wedding, but there's also the chance that the one person you can count on for a lifetime, the one person who knows you sometimes better than you know yourself is the same person who's been standing beside you all along."

haihhh

and someone who's been missing from my life for quite sometime now just popped back in like it's nobody's bussiness, being all nice and sweet. which made me think of something jennifer anniston said in 'he's just not that into you',

"I need you to stop being nice to me unless you're planning to marry me."

haihhh

why is my laptop keyboard sounds like a freaking typewriter when i hit on the keys.

haihhh

i should really start doing my work. i need my mom, sitting at our dining table, holding a rotan/hanger, and nag me to complete my homework. i miss those days.


August 10, 2009

What Women Want.

"Open me up and you will see,
I'm a gallery of broken hearts,
I'm beyond repair, let me be,
Just give me back my broken parts."
A song by Ingrid Michaelson, Be OK.

And this is something i came across on Yahoo! the other day. The article is about "9 Simple Things Women Want". After reading it, i guess most of it is true la. See its not that hard to make us happy actually :) We just want to see you at least make the effort to please us. We just want to feel that you care, that there's no other girl you'd rather be with. Like what Bryan Adams sang in his song, "have you ever really loved a woman"..

"When you love a women, tell her that she's really wanted,
When you love a women, tell her that she's the one,
She needs somebody, to tell here that it's gonna last forever..."

So the nine things stated in the article are :-

1. RESPECT - Show us through your actions that you respect our opinions, careers, interests, etc. When making decisions in your life, count us in, ask us what we think. Don't leave us out.

2. ROMANCE - Be spontaneous. It doesn't matter what you do, what matters is that you actually thought about doing it on your own. Example that the article gave is bring home flowers for no reason:)

3. TIME - Simply making the time to be with us and treating us like your top priority says "love" more than all the fancy gifts and lovely letters ever could. We know you're busy (we are too), but take a few minutes off work just to call up and say hi, could just make our day :) It makes a whole lot of difference you know when we know you're calling us when you're in the middle of something/busy and when we know you're calling us because you have nothing else to do and you're bored.

4. DINNER - something homemade, like cookiesss yummyyy (okei fine something simple like sandwich oso can), melt our hearts instantly.

5. COMMUNICATION - The article said, "We know you love us, but it's nice to hear you say it. We can also be insecure, so let us know when you think we're hot. Tell us you love the lasagna we made. Notice that we cleaned the bathtub. Just let us know that you see the effort we put in, and you're grateful." I think what it means is that show us that you appreciate the things that we do.

6. CONSISTENCY - I think what it means is that be consistent in your effort to show your love kut. Don't la just do it once, then dah, jadi blur ayam balik lepas tu:-"

7. ENGAGEMENT - Listen when we talk to you. You don't have to like everything we like, but showing interest in our passions, be it career-related, a sport or a hobby, goes a long wayyy.

8. CHALLENGE - The article said "The good kind of challenge, the kind that surprises and motivates us to do, be or achieve what we desire.":)

9. HUMOR and HUMILITY - meaning, relax, sit back and enjoy our company. crack jokes, just be yourself






tak la susah sangat pun, kan? ;)




Take Me Home Country Road.

Tiba2 in the mood to listen to "Apa Khabar Orang Kampung" - Sudirman. hehe like i've been away from home for a very long time la kan. but it sure feels like it. haihh.. another 5 weeks, bersabarlah...

it's funny when sometimes random stuff just kinda sticks with you. like you can remember insignificant information you learned when you were in primary or secondary school. hari tu , Ina was saying that she will be going to Jesselton, Sabah in August. The name sounded familiar to me. It was among the first of train stations in Tanah Melayu kan? hehe and like our last week tutorial was about the eye and its abnormalities. and the word astigmatism pops out, and we were wondering what that is exactly (haha i know 4th year dah but still x tau bnda simple :)) ). then suddenly i could somehow recall my darjah 6 teacher saying astigmatism is when your cornea tak rata. hehe so kiranya what i'm trying to say is, what we learned in school dulu tak la semua nya useless kan, although it felt like that dulu. you can't see the motive of sumbat-ing your brain with all kinds of information yang you know wont be any help to you in the future. though some things are still useless if you ask me. like add maths. and like i can still remember the Philippines ada banyak tebu. how is that gonna help me in any way? ;)

and sometimes, random memories just suddenly pop into your mind too. like the time my then pregnant kindergarten teacher gave me a sweet because i guessed correctly that she'll be having a baby girl. and the time our house banjir sebab Mak lupa nak tutup paip air. and the time my late grandpa took me on a motorcycle ride around kg. jambu, taiping when i was little...



no no don't be fooled by the name, that's not how my beloved kampung jambu looks like. Imagine a taman perumahan, double storey corner lot, with a swing at the front porch, and a pokok rambutan kat luar :) boring kan, always wanted a real kampung environment, but i love it anyways. can't wait for raya.



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Now playing: Sudirman - Apa Khabar Orang Kampung
via FoxyTunes

August 3, 2009

If Wishes Come True.

I can't believe I'm here :((
How come sebulan rasa skejappppp sgt??? huuuu
Okei fine, at least my holidays this time got to be the best so far kut :)
Haihhh, but still, i just got back from my holidays and i already feel like i need another one, hmmm...
I guess you really mean it huh, it's no fun having to try to avoid you all the time now..
I wish i could just wake up from this nightmare we're having and things between us will go back to normal again...
and we could talk again..
and laugh..
and smile..
and tease..
and argue..
and share..
and just be us again...

You don't miss it at all do you...
Just my wishful thinking.