Just Might (Make Me Believe).

"But if you can look in my eyes,
And tell me we'll be alright,
If you promise never to leave,
You just might make me believe"
-Sugarland-

I dont know why I'm making such a big deal out of not going back this raya. Well ofcourse I know why, but I'm really not handling this very good. I've spent the last 22 eids with my family, this is the first time i'll be away from them :(

or maybe this is one of those "looking at the cup half empty or half full" situations. maybe i should look at it this way, i've spent 22 rayas with my family, this is just ONE raya i have to spend it without them. just ONE.

......
......
......
......

nope, not working.

anywayyy, 3 of my friends went back Malaysia today. and something inside of me sortof kindof just snapped. not to have your family around for Eid is one thing, but not to have your friends too???

so i thought its time to do something crazy again. like what I did in December 2008. i just emptied my back account and bought a ticket home spontaneously (and i sure as hell glad i did <3 ). but I also have this habit of avoiding looking at the ATM screen when it shows my balance :-" so i always have no idea how much money I have left. I just told myself, if its meant to be, a miracle would happen and I could afford to go back home, but if its not, then God must have intended me to spend my raya here for a reason, and i have to accept it.

so i went to Air Asia counter first and asked for the ticket price, as expected, it was ridiculously expensive. but i really wouldnt mind taking out all i've got. so i went to the ATM machine next and checked my balance. and almost laughed out loud, in tears. what i had left, not only that its definitely not enough to score a seat on the plane, they wouldnt even let me hang on to its tire.

so apparently now i'm lost,

all alone,

and broke.

and it's gonna be raya soon.

0_0


phewww.
its okei cik, u still have a lot to be thankful for.
just. breathe.