Friends, Lovers Or Nothing.

when you're sick, and had nothing better to do;)

Lying Truth (Part I)

29 hours 35minutes 42 seconds. That's how long Adriana has been sitting alone in her room. That's also how long she has gone without eating a single food nor had she any human contact. Thank God for the attached bathroom to her room, or else that'll be how long it is since she last took a leak too.

She don't really know why she's doing this to herself. She just felt like vanishing into thin air. Not that anyone would miss me anyway, she thought. She just doesnt feel like dealing with the world right now. So much has happened, and there's only so much a teenager can take without breaking down completely. She never thought she could go one whole day without food too, and not feel hungry at all. If she'd known depression is the only thing that could keep her from thinking about food all the time, she should have been depressed a long time ago. She's not overweight or anything, but at sixteen, your mirror somehow has the same effect as the video camera has on the people on TV, it adds on an extra few pounds.

She heard a soft knock on her pink bedroom door. She remembered how she practically begged her daddy to paint it pink aeons ago. Now she wished it was painted black instead, it suits her mood better.

"Angel face, are you okei?"

Her mother whispered desperately through the locked door. Tears started to well up in Adriana's eyes again. She wanted to say that she's not okei. She wanted to tell her everything. She wanted to cry on her mother's shoulder. She wanted her to hold her tight and rocked her gently in her arms until she falls asleep like when she was younger. But she knew what her mother would say if she did tell her. Her mother would tell her that everything will be okei. That's just it, everything will not be okei. Nothing can make it okei again. You see, when a heart gets broken prematurely, it just wont grow back to the way it was ever again.

Adriana ignored her mother, and put her headphones on. She hit shuffle on her iPod playlist, and blast the volume up high. She lay on her bed and closed her eyes, wishing so hard hoping the world would go away for awhile and just leave her be with her sorrow. Out of 1256 songs on her ipod, the first song to be played just had to be the most depressive one. "Friends, Lovers or Nothing" by John Mayer. She thought of hitting next, but something in John's voice was kind of soothing. Until it reached towards the end when he was singing,

"Anything other then yes is no,

Anything other then stay is go,

Anything other then i love you is lie."

The verse kept on repeating itself over and over again into her ear, through her veins until it went to every living cell of her body and she felt like screaming okei I get it! She started to cry real hard then, her voice was caught up in her throat."It was all a lie," she said between sobs,

"It was all a lie."