I Got Nothing Left.

Life has a funny way of teasing you.

You go along building courage to build your heart up again from scratch, glue-ing the bits and pieces back carefully, sheltering it from the rain or storm or anything that reminded you of what broke it in the first place and as time goes by, your heart starts looking like a heart again, instead of a puddle of broken glasses. But then, just for fun i assume, life blows you wind, or throws you a look-alike, or an extremely vivid dream, and like breeze upon your fragile heart,

it starts to rock.

Come Back To Bed.

how can one feel offended bout something that wasn't even real in the first place?????

it's 2 in the morning, and i have a feeling that i'll regret this post.

ted's mom did say that when it's 2am (or was it 3?) just go to bed kan. nothing good ever happens at 2 (or 3) in the morning :))

it's like you have a puzzle, and the picture is complete, except for the last piece. and the last piece somehow won't fit in the last place. no matter how you twist and turn, it just won't fit. and its a beautiful picture, and you want to complete it so badly. but what are you to do??????

maybe this is what panic attack feels like. should i go find a paper bag to breathe into :))

it's like you managed to swim past this big rock in your way, just to find yourself in front of another rock. and I could have sworn that rock looks just the same as the one I was struggling to leave behind not so long ago.

it's like not having the ankle-high boots, when you needed it. and i really wanted one.

and i've always wanted a white handbag, and i didn't get that one too.

wait a minute, what was I talking bout just now...0_0

i. just. wish. that. this. is. all. real. for. i. can't. take. another. failure.

this is nothing by the way. this post does not exist. whoever ask me bout this is clearly hallucinating. this is just me sleep-blogging.

at 2 (or 3) in the morning.

shhhh, go back to bed.

Said I Loved You, But I Lied.

"Said I loved you but I lied,

Coz' this is more than love I feel inside."

-Michael Bolton.

There are only two situations that would highly motivate me to write:

anger or love.

I remember a blogger once wrote that he does not want to be in a relationship because he doesn't want to have to lie.

There is truth in that statement actually.

You've gotta admit, once you're in a relationship with someone, you're bound to say things like "I'll love you forever" or "I'll never ever leave you", when you know you are the last person on earth to know what the future holds, but you say it anyway.

Because there are just some things that you would rather hear I think. For example, when you asked your husband would he ever leave u for a more young, vibrant, good looking woman, what would you rather hear him say;

"Ofcourse I won't my dear."

or

"Baby you know I can't promise you that."

LOL that's one week of sleeping on the couch for u.

So maybe it really wasn't a lie. Maybe people say those things because that's how they felt at the time. At the time, you really do feel like you can never leave her. At the time, you really do feel like you can love him forever. And so you said it out loud.

But if by God's will you went on separate ways after that, well don't feel like you've been cheated. Or that it was all bull's crap. Take comfort in knowing that at one point in your life, someone actually felt that way towards you. At one point in your life, you have been loved.

Granted, there are lying cheating jerks out there who only say those things just to get what they wanted, but let's just not go there, for Hell already have a special place for them I bet :-"

So anyway,

as cliche as this may sound,

'tis better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all.

:)

Out Of Goodbyes.

I think by now you would know that I hate changes.

I hate changes as much as I hate cigarette smokes.

You know how serious that is.

People leaving me is one of the changes I hate the most.

I like things to stay the way they are forever.

I want people to stay the same forever.

On my first day of kindergarten, I somehow went into the wrong classroom. I entered the 4yr olds, when I was 5 at the time. Half way through the day, the teachers must have noticed, and they took me away from my bestfriend that I only knew for less than 3 hours, but I went kicking and screaming just the same 0_0

Anyway.

I have a feeling that a lot of changes is coming my way in the near future.

A lot of goodbyes to be said.

Promises to be made.

I'm so used to life here for 5 years I'm not sure what I'm gonna do once I'm back home.

I'm already too attached to my friends here, that I'm gonna be so lost once I'm away from them.

"We gonna have to make new friends mak."

"Dang I'm too old for that."

So.

I do hate changes.

I don't respond well to them.

I get very emotional.

Very.

Please you,

Be patient with me?

0_0

Aidilfitri.

it's comforting to know that i'm not that hopeless in the kitchen anyway.

that i do inherit some of my mom's cooking genes, walaupun tak banyak :D

kalau stakat a decent hari raya feast tu, no hal lah ;)