Thank You.

i love reading most of the status on facebook today:) we are all so very happy that we won the football cup thingy. it is so nice to see that finally we all agree on the same thing. we are all supporting for just one team. for once we put aside our political differences, our beliefs, our race and just focus on one beautiful thing, our country.

seriously u wont know how patriotic u are until ure staying away from home.

special thanks to our national football team for winning this for us and bringing us all closer together. God knows we needed it :-*

Let Her Down Easy.

"Let her down easy,
Her heart is on the line...
Let her down easy,
And she'll grow up in time..."

For the first time in my life, i just dont wanna be me right now.

I just dont wanna have to face this right now.

I just dont wanna go through this phase of my life right now.

I wanna skip this, its like being at the top of a rollercoaster and heading for a downfall. I dont wanna feel that fall. I dont wanna feel like all the air has been knocked out of my lungs. I dont wanna feel like all my insides are gonna come outside. I dont wanna feel terrified, and pain.

I just wanna be at the bottom, when everything is over, and calm,
And i just dont feel anything anymore.

They should make pills for this.

Save Me.

sometimes i think i dont give my heart enough credit. given what it had to go through in just a short period of time. In its 23 years of life, it had been stomped on, yelled at, lied to, stabbed at, cheated on, built up and let down, toyed with, broken up, lead on, confused, misinterpreted, taken for granted and God knows many more.

and yet it survived.

sure there's been some sleepless nights, tears shed, hope crushed, trust lost, but hey if it could go through all that and still beating hard, i think it can go through anything.

i really do believe that when a heart gets broken, it just grows twice as big and twice as strong :)

9 to 5.

i really never gave a rat's ass about this minyak naik harga thingy before this. i dont understand what the fuss is all about, 15 cents, 50 cents, it sounded so little mcm it wont make that much of a difference pun :D

until i was at the petrol station just now, filling up the tank.

wow, that's a lot man 0_0

dang.

then it got me to thinking, what is the difference between us and those who are working anyway. some say that we, those who are still studying, are lucky because we don't have to think about money, or how our salary is not enough to support our lives.

but really, when you think about it, what is the different. we go to work in the morning and come back in the afternoon too. we sometimes have to stay overnight lagi. okei so we dont have salaries yet, but we do receive allowance every month, which is only rm800 per month.and with that money we still have to pay for the house, we still have to pay for our vehicles, electricity, internet, makan, top-up, makan, parking at the hospital :-" makan, immigration fees, makan and not to mention the expenses during outstation. it really is a wonder how we could survive all this while with only this much huuuu, so what im trying to say is that,


we feel u 0_0

New York State Of Mind.

it is still hard for me to believe that that little dude up there finishes school already :))

that same little dude who i used to tell bedtime stories to. and watch Madeline with haha. i remember his first day of kindergarten. surprisingly he didn't cry, but me and my mom waited outside the whole time anyway. we were more worried than he was i think 0_0 and he scored big with the teachers, because u see, he was reallyyy cute back then, like seriously cute. he was fair, a little chubby, curly haired and he would do cute lil things too. i dont know what happened, we had some theories but the most logical one is that an alien kidnapped him somewhere around the age of 10, and replaced him with this hard-headed-won't-take-no-for-an-answer-torturing-me-endlessly-funny-looking-head guy i call my jenton.

Congratulations, freak.
:D

Vanilla Twilight.

BEST MOVIE #1

One of my favourite movie is Notting Hill. It is a sweet and simple movie, or like how Hugh Grant described his first meeting with Julia : surreal, but nice :) It's about this guy who fell in love with a movie star.

Favourite quote from the movie:
"I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy, asking him to love her.."

Favorite song from the movie:
When You Say Nothing At All - Ronan Keating

Favourite movie moment:
Got to be the very last scene, where a pregnant Julia lies down on a park bench with her head on Hugh Grant's lap while he was reading a novel to the background of the song "She" by Elvis Castello. It is just so sweet, this scene was stuck in my mind eversince i first saw it, which was like what 10 years ago. And everytime anyone mention bout Notting Hill this scene comes to mind. I still remember it, and I always will :)

"Can I stay for a bit longer...
...Stay forever"

Stuck On You.

Absolutely no one who knows me better,
No one that can make me feel so good,
How did we stay so long together,
Everybody, everybody said we never would.

And just when I
Start to think they're right
The love has died

There you go making my heart beat again,
Heart beat again, heart beat again.
There you go making me feel like a kid
Won't you do it, do it one more time?

There you go pulling me right back in,
Right back in, right back in,
And I know I'm never letting this go
I'm stuck on you.

Some days I don't feel like trying
Some days you know I wanna just give up
When it doesn't matter who's right
Fight about it all night
Had enough, you give me that look
I'm sorry baby let's make up

You do that thing that makes me laugh
And just like that
You make my heart beat again.

All Of Me.

Have you ever heard the old tale about the lady who turned down a fine gentleman's invitation out? The man asked her why, to which she replied
"I am afraid to make more memories of us me lord," said she, "For one of these days i am almost absolutely positive that you would hurt me and leave me again as all lads do, and i have to wallow in the memories that we had together, and believe you me, i already have a lifetime worth of memories to choose from to make me twice as depressed as I would already be in. So if you love me Love, I beg of you, leave me now, or leave me never."

For Sentimental Reasons.

I saw him today :(

After about 4 years, I saw him again yesterday.

You know the feeling that you get when you saw your crush walking down the road, the butterflies in your tummy, your heart beats like crazy.

Thats how i felt when I saw my ex-car, my blue kancil, yesterday here in Kulim 0_0

It was my car for around two years, before I had to go to Indonesia.

We had a lot of fun, me and my car, a whole lot of memories together.

Seeing it again brings back all those moments we spent.

Do you remember, Car? The trips to KLIA we took to send my friends off or to pick them up, the amount of time i spent in the car waiting for my next class to start, nights out to Giant with my housemates for groceries or dinner, all the shopping malls we went, oh and that trip to Kajang :)), those times me and Syazana would go for a drive at night around Shah Alam just to look at the beautiful gorgeous houses they have there, the trips to McD drive-thru, remember the time you ran out of gas in the middle of the road and people kept giving us the look? :)) i think there was a time or two i had a good cry in it too and he would just listen patiently, not a word out of him but the spit-sputtering soothing sound of the engine...

I miss you, Car. I know you're in good hands now, maybe someday I'll get you back again, for sentimental reasons. 0_O

Me and You and a car named Boo,
Travellin' and livin' off the land.

Mine.

Have you ever come to a point in your life when you decided to stop for awhile, take a good look around you and wonder how the mcnuggets did you get here?

Looking back down the road you travelled. The one that you both decided to take many years ago. The one that brought you to where you are today. And you would think, whattt, after alll of those things we did together, after all of those time spent, all those sleepless nights, all of those sweet moments shared, the unforgetable ones, the risk we both took, we saw the sight of each other that no one has ever seen before, after all of those and it comes down to.....this?

What, you dont even deserve a backward glance?

Not even the tiniest effort to make things the way they were again?

How could that possibly be? This just couldnt be it.

Could it?

Taylor Swift would know the answer.

You Light Up My Life.

Gunung Merapi as off 1.22am tadi. It's her way of celebrating the festival of lights maybe. (siap hujan batu sekali, i thought it should be hujan emas di negeri orang 0_0 )

Happy Diwali to all of them celebrating.

Hang on tight ppl 0_0

Half Of My Heart.

"Half of my heart's got grip on the situation,
Half of my heart takes time,
Half of my heart's got right mind to tell you that
I can't keep loving you,
I can't keep loving you..."

The situation here in Jogja macam getting worse i think. Debu or volcanic ashes they call it, is everywhere. My black trousers by the end of the day is not black anymore. And the damn ashes gets in your eyes too. Every vehicle u see is covered with grey debu. Cuci kereta, cuci motor, cuci baju and jemur kat luar dikira sebagai perbuatan sia2 sekarang. It's raining ashes here in Jogja people.

Merapi, which is less than 30km away from our place, has erupted a number of times already since 26th of October. One of it already killed almost 30 people. The hot air apparently is 600 degrees Celsius 0_0 but its not blowing our way, yet (hopefully never).

Malaysia sent us face masks and eye drops as you can read in the newspaper. Auww so sweet kan? They gave us each 3 face mask. Banyak kannn. Maybe they dont know sehari saja we use around 3 kot. So the one they gave us could last us for........yayyy a whole day! 8-| owh and the eye drops are actually eye mo. and we got only one to share for the whole house, wuhooo! its okei, maybe dorg tak pernah belajar you're not supposed to share eye drops with other people kot. yes you're right, you're right, nasib baik dorg bagi kan? kalau x bagi? x bagi pun xpe kot, kitorg ada sekotak kalau setakat surgical mask yang tak effective towards debu macam tu haihh.

Im not trying to be bitter or ungrateful or anything, i am just dissapointed. You guys are the one who sent us over here to study, and then go back and serve you people for 10 damn years, take some responsibility la. we're not even complaining about the 10 years sebab ktorg saaayangg Malaysia, x kesah punn, suruh la kerja 20 taun pun (ceceyy), tapi what about our health and safety here, now? takkan nak tunggu things get realllly teruk baru nak take action? but if that happens pun you can always use your template #8 "kami turut berdukacita..." in your big book of how-to-get-out-of-crappy-situation kan. Dang.

haihh it's okei, kitorang kan budak baik, dah 4 tahun bersabar, we will just wait, if our government suruh balik, kitorg balik. Kalau dorg suruh kitorg stay, kitorg stay la dalam debu ni dengan penuh kesabaran. It's okei Malaysia,


we love you anyway.
0_0

Back To You.

You know whats worse than getting off a plane and nobody's there to greet u?

Its getting off the plane expecting to see someone but no one's there.
0_0

We Can Work It Out.

I cant believe its going to be over soon.
Internal Med department is going to be over in just a few hours!!

Cant believe I made it through the 2 weeks in freaking Cilacap, surviving on just one kedai makan during the fasting month.

Can't believe I spent raya away from home for the very first time.

Can't believe I made it through the 2 weeks in Banyumas, barfing and puking my way through most of the long tiring days and sleepless nights there.

Can't believe I made it through oncall for one whole week during Jagumm, where my life was only between the hospital and home. no no make that between hospital and my bed, and that's it for one week.

Can't believe I had to listen to Dota-talk and wars and history and whatever guys weirdly feel interesting about for the whole nine weeks :)) 0_0

Most importantly I cant believe we survived the most impossible, difficult tutor of all time. We survived BJ! 9 weeks of mind games. 9 weeks of mental torturing. and alas, I got a praise out of him on our very last meeting!

it's been a tough week for all of us. exams and my good friend is still in the hospital, get well sooooon will ya! and lately we've been getting news about people suddenly dying at a very young age. doesnt it makes you feel scared? doesnt it makes you realized that we dont really have much time left? that it could end at any given second. even the Beatles knew this and sang,

"Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting my friend..."

Superman.

'I'm no Superman,
But I love you the best I can.
Don't you know I'm no Superman,
But I'll always be your man."
-Ronan Keating-

I wonder why Jerry Siegel, a writer from USA, created the superhero Superman in the year 1933.

I wonder why he created this idea of a man of steel. A man with super absurd ability. Someone who could see through walls. Someone who could fly. Someone impossible.

Maybe he lost faith in humanity. Maybe he needed a hero. Maybe he thought we needed to be save. Maybe he was bored.

But most of all i wonder,

-My Blankie-

Why does he have to make him wear his briefs on the outside?
0_0

Only Human.

I was brought up in a small town called Kulim. It is somewhere in Kedah, and only 30 minutes away from Penang. I know sometimes it seems as though im too obsessed with Kulim. It is only natural, don't u think? Ofcourse u'll fall in love with the place you spend most of your childhood days and teenage years in. I spent 22 years of my life in Kulim. My first of a lot of things happened while I was growing up in Kulim.

My first step, my first fall and skinned my knee, my first friend, my first kindergarten concert where I sang a P Ramlee song in front of people on a stage, my first bicycle ride, my first school, my first sport's day, my first choir performance in short purplr polkadot skirt, my first phone call from a guy, the first time I drove a car, my first bus ride with friends without my parents permission and lost my purse, my first camping trip, my first car accident, and a whole lot more. Ofcourse I have a special feeling towards it. I was born in Penang, but Kulim's got my heart. It's my hometown. If I were born and raise in Kelantan, or Labuan, or freaking Texas USA, I would be in love with those places too.

People can kutuk Kulim all they want, I get that all the time, but I don't mind. Because what they say is the truth.

Yes we can get from one end to the other in less than 20minutes.
Yes we still sell food under the tree.
Yes Kulim still don't have McDonald's.
Yes we personally know the abang who sells mee goreng to a point where we could just call him up and order and come pick it up later.
Yes the aunty who sells cendol lets us drink in the car, with her mangkok and all, in front of her stall.
Yes the newspaper man likes to pinch Firas's cheeks haha
and knows exactly what newpaper to bring at the sight of my father's car.
Yes Kulim is a small town or tak maju or whatever people think of it.

But I love it anyway. In fact, I love it BECAUSE of all of those things. Kind of like when u're in love with someone who is not so bright, or not so good looking, but because you're in love, none of that matters.

But I guess not everyone is as open and can take criticism that way. So I think it's best not to go around asking people from East Malaysia if they still live on trees, or go to school by sampan. Or ask those from Kelantan if they know what a cinema is. Or how can they possibly live without one. Or ask if Perlis is really a state on its own. Or ask Kulim-ites if they still sell things under the tree. Some of them would take it as a compliment, and be proud of having something other state doesn't. But some would actually feel insulted. Some people can take it, some can't. We have to accept that.

Anywayyyyy, Kedah or Terengganu, or Johor, or Sabah, or whatever, we are all Malaysian. We have the same IC. We eat at the same mamak's stall. We get the same TV stations. We all eat nasi lemak. We all agree our local football team sucks. We dislike Fasha Sandha. We are proud of what Malaysia has grown into over the years. We have the same Prime Minister. We are one. Ooooooo, so that's what they meant by 1Malaysia:-"

Chill peeps, what's more important is that,
we are only human.
0_0

Sugar Baby Love.

Latest addition to our big family, baby Yassin. Cant wait to meet him and squeeze his cheeks!! Grow a little bit more baby and you and I will be going out on a date to mcDonald's and Toys' r Us after that:-*

Selamat Hari Raya.

I think we enjoyed raya the most when we were little kan.

I feel the need to thank my parents for letting us adek beradek have the best of raya while we were growing up. Like birthdays, they really made a big deal out of Hari Raya. They would make sure each of us have brand new clothes for raya, duit raya lagi, food on the table, bring us all balik Taiping or Ipoh (and not fight bout which kampung to go back, haha at least not in front of us). I know Dad had to spend a lot on us. Thank you so much.

And now that we're all grown up, we'll try to keep the tradition going, and make sure our children in the future, InsyaAllah will have great Eids' too. And one day, someday reallll soon I hope, I'd like to be the one to buy both of you baju raya pulak, and give both of you duit raya for a change. Please stay around forever for that to happen mommy, daddy. I'm working hard on it, I really am. (please dear God, make my dreams come true) I love you both.

Selamat Hari Raya, Maaf Zahir Batin.
From your little angel far from home 0_0

I Got You Babe.

This bit from the Big Bang Theory is kinda interesting.


On trying to win over Sheldon's hot twin sister, Missy.

Howard : Okay you two have to back off.
Leonard: Excuse me, why should I back off, this is my apartment, and she's my roomate's sister.
Howard: So what! You've already got Penny!
Leonard: How do I have Penny? In what universe do I have Penny??
Howard: *silent* So can I have Penny?
Leonard: Hell no!



haha typical.
0_0

Cahaya Aidilfitri.

can't believe the day that i would have to make this kind of to-do list is actually here *sob3*

raya to-do list
1. change curtain
2.change comforter
3. kemas bilik
4. kemas hall
5. cuci toilet
6. kemas dapur
7. beli bawang, kunyit, halia
8. find bekas kueh raya
9. fill it with kueh raya.
10. re-arrange furniture in my room
11. rebus ketupat and nasi impit.
12. kuah kacang

look Mak, i'm all grown up :-)

Just Might (Make Me Believe).

"But if you can look in my eyes,
And tell me we'll be alright,
If you promise never to leave,
You just might make me believe"
-Sugarland-

I dont know why I'm making such a big deal out of not going back this raya. Well ofcourse I know why, but I'm really not handling this very good. I've spent the last 22 eids with my family, this is the first time i'll be away from them :(

or maybe this is one of those "looking at the cup half empty or half full" situations. maybe i should look at it this way, i've spent 22 rayas with my family, this is just ONE raya i have to spend it without them. just ONE.

......
......
......
......

nope, not working.

anywayyy, 3 of my friends went back Malaysia today. and something inside of me sortof kindof just snapped. not to have your family around for Eid is one thing, but not to have your friends too???

so i thought its time to do something crazy again. like what I did in December 2008. i just emptied my back account and bought a ticket home spontaneously (and i sure as hell glad i did <3 ). but I also have this habit of avoiding looking at the ATM screen when it shows my balance :-" so i always have no idea how much money I have left. I just told myself, if its meant to be, a miracle would happen and I could afford to go back home, but if its not, then God must have intended me to spend my raya here for a reason, and i have to accept it.

so i went to Air Asia counter first and asked for the ticket price, as expected, it was ridiculously expensive. but i really wouldnt mind taking out all i've got. so i went to the ATM machine next and checked my balance. and almost laughed out loud, in tears. what i had left, not only that its definitely not enough to score a seat on the plane, they wouldnt even let me hang on to its tire.

so apparently now i'm lost,

all alone,

and broke.

and it's gonna be raya soon.

0_0


phewww.
its okei cik, u still have a lot to be thankful for.
just. breathe.

Don't Give Up On Us Baby.

Dear self,

Stop being so pathetic. Snap out of it. Wake up and smell the bullshit that u're surrounded in. It is time to grow up. Don't make me give up hope on you.

Love always,
Me.

Heartless.

ECG.
Electrocardiogram.
I get to do that a lot now that i'm in the internal medicine department.
Its a machine, with leads plastered on your chest, to record the condition of your heart.
It'll print out on a piece of long paper, the rhythm and the frequency and what not.
At the end of it, it'll give out it's interpretation,
like lateral infarction, or sinus tachycardia.

I have a dream.
That someday ECG could pick up on something more than just the physical condition of the heart.
I wish that it could pick up on feelings too.
So that the result at the end of it would be something like this,
Myocardial Infarction,
with 95% true love for John.

The Little Things.

Common courtesy 101.

1. It is common courtesy to hold open the door for the person behind you.
2. Queuing up at the counter.
3. In a conversation, the listener remains silent while the other person engages in speech.
4. Waiting for the host before beginning eating.
5. Giving up your seat for the elderly.
6. Texting a girl the morning after spending a wonderful night together.

Stay.

why do wives with abusive husbands still stay?

why do girls with lying boyfriends still pretend to believe?

why do friends who have friends who are jerks but still are friends with them anyway?

why do people forgive and forget?






because it's easier than living without.

To Sir, With Love.

I reallllly realllly like this post from Faraha's blog. I hope you won't mind me sharing it here too dear :)

Ibn ‘A bbas narrated, the Messenger of A llah ( S W T ) said:

“Teach! Make things easy! And do not make things complicated! He (S A W ) repeated this three times and then he added: And if you get angry, keep quiet!”

(Ibn Hajar Al - ‘Asqalani, Al - Matalib Al - ‘Aliyah ; At -Tayalisi; Ibn Hanbal; Ibn Abi Shaibah)

Al- B ukhari narrated it on the authority of A nas, as follows :

“Make things easy! And do not make them complicated! Be cheerful! And do not be repulsive.”

Ahmad Ibn Hanbal narrated it as follows:

“Teach and give good tidings! Make things easy, and do not make them hard!”

i would realllllly like to print this out poster sized, and put it up at the hospital here for the senior doctors to see :-B stop making our lives miserable, medic is hard enough without you pressuring nonsense on us.

Sunday Morning.

The things i like bout coming back home.
The buying breakfast on Sunday morning with my dad.
I don't care if its weird for a 23 year old girl to go to the market, holding hands with her daddy, on an early Sunday morning.
I love it to bits :)

Out Of Nothing At All.

I know just how to whisper
And I know just how to cry
I know just where to find the answers
And I know just how to lie

I know just how to fake it
And I know just how to scheme
I know just when to face the truth
And then I know just when to dream

And I know just where to touch you
And I know just what to prove
I know when to pull you closer
and I know when to let you loose

And I know the night is fading
and I know the time's gonna fly
and I'm never gonna tell you everything I gotta tell you
But I know I gotta give it a try

But I don't know how to leave you
And I'll never let you fall
And I don't know how you do it
Making love out of nothing at all.

All or Nothing.

Have u ever had a conflict with your own self?
Ever argued with your inner voice?
Like you want something so bad, but something somewhere inside of you is saying you shouldn't?
It's like you saw that pair of really expensive shoes. and you realllllly want it more than anything in the world, but the price is just too high, and you know you can't afford it. You so want it, but your heart is saying no.
When you tried the shoes on, it fitted so nicely, you felt comfortable at once. It felt like home..
But you know if you take it, you're gonna have to face the consequences. The risk of paying so high for it. and let's not even think about buyer's remorse.
But you really really like it.
It's tempting.
But then there are times that you wondered if you only think that you want the shoes because you don't have it and you don't want anybody to, or you're supposed to and it's the only logical explanation for all that has been going on all this while but actually you don't want the shoes the way you thought you did after all..
Sometimes you wish someone would say something bad about the shoes, like
"Hey do you know that it is actually a fake?".
Then it would be easier for you to hate the shoes, and leave it and just forget about it.
But i guess even if you found out that the shoes is actually not shoes, it's just a common pair of slippers pon, u would still want it kan.
0_0
It's okei, this post is supposed to be pointless.

Help!

Why i think doctors are selfless people. My doctor got called to the emergency department at 2 in the morning. We were all sleeping. She woke me up in a hurry, and grabbed her white coat before heading to the emergency dept, only to realize later on, after everything is settled, that she forgot to change her trousers, and was wearing her white coat only with her pyjama shorts =))

Time In A Bottle.

I'm at a crossroad.

Actually I've been at this crossroad many times before.

And every time, I take the wrong turn.

And I wonder,

When reading to my kids in the future on the story of my life,

When I reach to this part,

Would I say

"kids, this is where Mommy had had enough, turned around and walk the other way"

or

"kids, this is where Mommy made the mistake of letting go."

White Flag.

sometimes,

before stepping into a battlefield

you'll feel all hyped up

all excited and full of spirit

and you actually believe that you kinda sorta maybe probably can actually win this battle...

....until u meet the enemy.

and the first thought that came to your mind is

"how can i compete with her?"

sadis.

Daddy's Little Girl.

The best picture of me and my dad :)

Happy Father's Day
I Love You.

Anyway.

I know no matter how we put it, no matter what the reason is, a lie is still a lie. But we have to admit that there are certain kind of lies that we choose to believe for personal reason: 1. Like how my dad always end our phone conversation with "okei i'll call you later" but he almost never will. But i believe him anyway. 2. Or like when someone says they miss you, but it seems unlikely, but because it makes you feel good, you believe them anyway. 3. Or when you have a problem, people will tell u "Dont worry, everything will be fine". Now u know that that person couldnt possibly know what the future holds, but it calms you down, So u believe it anyway.

Hate That I Love You.

"You know just what to do
So I can't stay mad at you,
For too long, that's wrong.."

it's either i'm plain stupid

or

what we have going on between us here is just pure magic.

"One of these days maybe your magic won't affect me
And your kiss won't make me weak
But no one in this world knows me the way you know me
So you'll probably always have a spell on me..."
-Rihanna-

Hurt.

"With a broken heart that's still beating...
...I'm barely holding on to you."
-Lifehouse-

i am not even mad anymore.

i am beyond that.

i am hurt.

how hard is it to remember that i too, have feelings.

i'm just a girl.

just a girl.

"I can't explain why it's not enough,
'coz I gave it all to you..."
-James Morrison-

Fame.

I think i read this in some novel before
"Are we miserable because we listened to sad songs, or we listen to sad songs because we're miserable?"

Maybe it works both way.

Random thoughts from mua.

• i wish i could bark for myself sometimes. i wish my defense mechanism is punching someone in the face and not being the one ending up in tears. this is another trait that i failed to inherit from my family. see if someone were to treat my brother or sister wrongly, they would surely go after that person. they wouldn't be afraid to tell them off. I on the other hand would love to do that, but when I'm mad, my anger turns into useless tears. which would leave me looking like a fool.
• which reminds me of what meg ryan said in the movie You've Got Mail. She wished she could say the exact things that she wanted to say, at the exact moment she wanted to say it. but then again, when she finally had the chance, she felt really awful about it.
• anywayyyy...guess i could cross out obstetric and gynaecology out of my list! things i liked about it, is the look on the husbands face when their wives are having the babies. u can see all kinds of reactions. there are calm, cool and collected ones. those who look more panic than the wife. and my personal favourite, the "o'oh i did this to my wife"look. :))
• i'm starting to think my sarcasm is a disease.
• humans are forgetful creatures. women know how much it hurts to be in labor, and yet they get pregnant again after that. *still in obsgyn mode*. ppl know how much it hurts to fall out of love, but they fall right back in again after that.
• i'm just saying that i know how it feels like to lose yourself in a moment of weakness, where nothing else matters but that moment that you are in.
• sometimes we stand too close to someone that we fail to see what lies beyond and totally missed the bigger picture.
• let me close with a quote between a married couple from a TV show i saw yesterday,

" I get it that she's your bestfriend. But there'll come a time when you just
can't have a girl as your bestfriend anymore, because there's a much more
important girl in your life, your wife."

Livin' A Lie

by The-Dream ft Rihanna

I wanna tell the world that you're my girl
And that I'm your man,
And I wanna tell the world that you got me
Why can't we be
I can't put my name on your kiss
And I can't speak your name from these lips
We froze and nobody knows

Have to walk out the room everytime you call
Tellin everybody I ain't seen you in so long
It feels like I ain't breathing
This feels worser than cheating

Cuz we out here livin' a lie,
Out here livin' a lie
I'm out here livin' a lie
Why what makes you smile seem to make you cry
Im out here livin' a lie,
I'm out here livin' a lie
Behind these smiles I'm really hurting inside.

Everytime I wanna put us on display
Time takes a breath
I hear about other relationships that ain't true
I wanna set it right
And I can't tell nobody how I feel
And I can't tell nobody how we is

I wanna hop on the first thing smokin'
Tell our agent to book us a plane
I wanna be near you
I wanna be near you too
I wanna wake up
Right next to you baby

Everything in this world has got us crazy
I'm so through, you too?
What's the worst that could happen baby if they know?
Won't be nothing
Coz you're inpecable,
You're everything that I love
I wanna be with you.

I'll Be Waiting.

the impact of having friends who are already working :

kalau dulu boleh call anytime, skg kena tgk jam, before or after office hours only.
dang.

i graduated last wednesday. Alhamdulillah I now have my degree in my hands, without losing MUCH of my sanity :)) but i don't feel any different pun haha. dah la graduation macam penyampaian hadiah sukaneka je =)) my school's hari anugerah pun grand sket kot haihh. but i know this degree means a lot more to my parents than it is to me. my dad always wanted to see us all walk down the stage with a scroll in our hands first before walking us down the aisle i guess. and since it was their 30th wedding anniversary this year, i told them this is my gift to them.

owh and thanks to alllll the presents and the cards and the flowers and the wishes too! I love them all! :)

rse cm baru je nanges2 kat airport first time fly sini :-" dah grad dah pun..........okei fine i'll save this emotional flashbacks until September next year when i'm back in malaysia for good :D

back to work. i hate it here. im actually missing Jogja, but that is too weird. so i figured what i really miss is my friends in Jogja. "it's not where you are, but who you're with" kan? :) anyway im looking at it this way, there's a river full of obstacles in front of me, at the end of it are my loved ones. it'll take me 1 and a half years to make it across this river to them. so i guess I better start now and get it over and done with. It's easier if I imagine it this way i think. Easier if you have something to look forward to. You guys are my light at the end of the tunnel. So here I go, into the water, jumping in, head first, and i'm doing this for you three. So please, wait for me.

"I'd walk a thousand miles on broken glass, it won't stop me,
from making my way back to you..."
James Morrison

Good Morning Beautiful

"Good Morning Beautiful,

how was your night?

Mine was wonderful

with you by my side..."

Keith Urban

auwwwww how sweet is that? :)

There's this one episode of Mercy i saw a couple of weeks back. A very old couple came to the hospital, and then suddenly the wife had stroke. Her husband was by her side when it happened, and he looked so lost and miserable, and he kept calling her name. And then when the wife finally recovered, the first thing she said was "Don't look. Without make up. I'm hideous." and the husband sincerely replied, "Ridiculous, you look beautiful my girl" and kissed her cheeks. Aishhhh it was all very sweet, bare in mind that they're like 60 -70 years old. From the look on the woman's face, to the tears in the husband's eyes..

and that was when i realized something. (o'oh)

I got it all wrong. This is what i should be praying and hoping for. This is what love should be all about. To still feel and treat each other the same way as the first day they met. To be able to look at someone the same way even after 35 years of living together. Who would still hold your hands when you're old and gray, and say that you are still madly in love and there couldn't be another.

Now, that's love worth fighting for.

Save Yourself.

"If you stay with me, honestly that's what I want,

But if you stay with me, I know I ask too much."

tiba2 rasa stress, nak balikkkk. eventhough Jogja is not my home, i still feel homesick. and i miss my real home in kulim, so i'm homesick times 2. i need someone to sing me soft kitty. aishhh feel like im coming down with something. In the words of the great Sheldon, "Homesick is a kind of sick."

"So won't you save, save yourself,

By leaving me now, for someone else.

If i'm crying now, don't listen to me,

It's only my heart."

-James Morrison-

Someday We'll Know.

To my two dearest friends,

I am so proud of you both.

Its like watching you grow right before my eyes.

Dari sekolah --> university --> skarang dh kerja.

Lepas ni kawen plak eh? hehe, i hope to still be a part of your lives then too :)

Cik Norhashimah Laili
- i still remember the days you'd come hang out in our room kat Jasin dulu
- the times yang awak gaduh ngn r*ul hahaha
- pastu awk masuk UTP, mcm2 jadi kann, the tears and the laughter, thx for sharing it all with me:)
- ingat all the phone calls we made to each other, ngadu bnde yg x best and yg best kan. sampai sy rasa cm kenal kawan2 awk sume hehe.
- owh i went to UTP once to see u remember? :)
- all the times we met kat KL.
- pastu phase gi interview2. you had to face a lot of things, but you are so strong girl, bangga sgt ngn awk. i told you not to give up, God have better plans for you kan :)
- now you are already working my dear, can't believe it. sangat happppy utk awk. kerja rajin2 tau shimmm, remember to start small, but grow big k :) all the best! gluckkk! (kenalkn engineer handsome2 kat sy k) jgn ponteng2! =p

Encik Muhamad Hilmee
- hmmm where do i start :) i knew you from the days blur2 masa form 4 lg, seret kaki g class =P
- i was the one elected you as president homeroom haha see i saw great potential in u dari dulu lagi:->
- then phase saling mmbantu ambikkn gmbr :))
- pastu ko masuk matrix-xde-line-pahang haha
- i was even there the day you knew you got accepted into UITM S.Alam, we were all visiting jasin kan time tu...
- 4 taun kat s.alam, rse cm aku student UITM gak haha :from your hostel in campus (perindu eh?), to the one yg off campus, to the two houses yg you guys rented outside hehe, skg dh habes dh, kejap sgt!
- aishhh now you too will be working, and i couldnt be more proud :) I know you've been through a whole lot to be where you are right now, the things you had to deal with, but i've always believed in you. you were so strong, and u never gave up. God knows you deserve this. All the best and good luck for your work k, jgn ponteng2 (and nk engineer handsome jgk =P )

with love,
Farin

p/s: please don't forget about me :)

Spanish Guitar.

I think there are guitar's strings attached to my heart instead of arteries :-" when someone plays the guitar, it goes straight inside of me, seriously.

top 2 songs guys should know how to play on guitar
1. Kau Ilhamku
2. More Than Words

baru nyanyi "beribu bintang..." dah boleh melt like lemon drops kan;)

"I wish that I was in your arms,

like that spanish guitar..."

-Toni Braxton -

Wasting Time.

first time buat baek kena marah 0_0

besides cigarette smoke, there's two more things that i find it hard to tolerate

1. waiting for ppl
2. make ppl wait for me.

so most of the time i'll try my very best to be on time (okei fine, if i'm late tu selalunya sebab kena tunggu org lain siap, or traffic jam, or wait for an available car, or bus driver drive super slow, or LRT ramai org or gaduh dgn kakak :-" ) but i'll always try my best to be punctual, especially for formal events.

last night someone msged me at 11pm to be at the hospital at 7am today. with a heavy head (from lack of sleep from the previous night oncall) i was there at 7 sharp and no one was there. at 9am, there were only 6 of us out of 26 ppl, and plus the one who msged us all wasnt even there! so i got mad at one of my groupmates, and he had the guts to blame me! he said, tu salah kamu. dah 3 tahun setengah tak kan tak tau lagi ,disini kalau org janji kul 7 maksudnya bukan btul2 kul 7! hahahahahahaha, then whats the use of promising ?????????

haihhh,
maybe i should be living in Japan.

Don't Cry Out Loud.

"Don't cry out loud,

Just keep it inside,

Learn how to hide your feelings."

wouldn't it be easier

if there's a back door to every situation?

like when u've made such a mess in someone else's life,

u can quietly escape through the back door,

so that things would be back to normal in their life,

and most importantly,

no one would notice that u're gone.

"Fly high and proud,

And if you should fall,

Remember you almost had it all."

Need You Now.

"and i wonder if I ever cross your mind,

coz for me it happens all the time..."

I saw this bruce willis movie once, can't remember the title, but it was about him meeting the kid version of him from the past. the kid came to the future, and asked him questions about his life, how he's gonna do, and etc. and it got me to thinking, if we too were presented with that kind of oppurtunity, what would we say to that kid version of us? would it be

A) "oh u've got nothing to worry about kid, u'll make all the right decisions in life, fall for the right man, have a wonderful family, and become very successful"

or

B) "i'm sorry kid, but i screwed it up for the both of us."

if i could stop my life for awhile right now, and look back down the 23 years worth of road i've travelled so far, would i be proud of myself? or would i see flaws and wrong turnings that i now know i shouldnt have taken?

come to think of it, i wouldn't change a thing. not the slightest bit. coz what if i never found u?

for me, if a 6-year old farina comes to the future and asks me how's her future would be like i would say...

"kid, i can't say that your life would be a smooth sailing from here on. there are days that you would cry your little heart out, days that you would fall and couldn't get back up. at times you'll feel like a fool. you'd get your heart broken into the smallest pieces imaginable. days that you thought you would never get through it alive. but, there would also be times that you would laugh and actually mean it. nights that u would sleep with a smile on your face. times that you would feel loved and love it. you'd at the top of the world sometimes and nothing could bring you down. days that you'd feel like heaven is in your arms. and u'd come to realize that when a broken heart heals,

it just grows bigger than before."

"coz i'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all."

Some People.

A very important lesson in life:

We are all pathetic in our own special ways at one point in our lives.

Some can't see the truth staring them in the eye.

Some hold on to the past until they couldn't have a future.

Some live in denial.

Some are living a lie.

Some live of off someone else's happiness.

Some hope for the impossible.

Some are lost.

Some refuses to be found.

Some are still waiting.

So, lets not judge.

If I Can't Have You (I Don't Want Nobody, Baby)

tringat someone yg sblm mampu beli handphone dia download theme dulu, beli casing hp dulu hehe, well i can't even afford the casing, all i have is its pamphlet, hari2 tengok mr Corby, when will you be mine..? ;;)

this week flew past by reallll quick, does this mean im actually loving it?

baru sebulan balik m'sia knapa mcm dh sgt lamaaaaa, huhu i wanna go homeee, i'm just too far from where you are, i wanna come home <--- cue lagu michael buble

"Di waktu malam, bulan mengambang,

Sunyi damai, damai sekelilingku,

Terdengar nan sayu,

Bintang seribu,

Membujuk rayu kerna merindu,

Lagu yang dulu.

Di waktu malam, bulan purnama,

Angin laut meniup niup deras,

Mengatakan sayang, berlagu merdu,

Memadah sayu lemah mendayu,

Nak dara rindu.

Tanjung Katung air nya biru,

Tempat mandi nak dara jelita,

Sama sekampung sedangkan dirindu,

Ini kan lagi yang jauh di mata."

P.ramlee

Feelings Show.

"The way you make me feel,

Like the sun coming up in the morning,

Like holding the world in your hands,

In a way I could never imagine,

That's the way you make me feel."

-ronan keating-

what does it mean,

when u feel like u want to give someone the finest things in life?

no no, this is not like those "saye nk belikn awak baju benang emas, kasut kaca, hati nyamuk 7 dulang, istana 30 tingkat dengan 30 orang gaji, satu utk masak, satu utk kemas rumah, satu utk potong kuku blablabla.."

tu ayat mengorat tu, dusta semata2 =))

this is different. this is....a sincere feeling that u get from deep down inside. u really feel it. it's like suddenly u have this feeling like u only want that person to have the best of things. only the best. and it felt so......real.

Can't Help It.

"Would it be a sin,

If I can't help falling in love with you...?"

-elvis-

wow :->

okei so it's not like i hated it 100%.

it was interesting, the cases that came in yesterday was really something.

it's just that,

i don't do late nights. 0_0

my bedtime is at 10pm.

if you want me to stay up way past that, u have to be realllllllly cute :-" and u have to provide me with my energy booster, Mc Donald's Sundae ;) combination of the two, and i can stay up the wholeeeeeee night without complaining ;)

ni smlm 36 jam, all i had was maggi and biscuit, and im tired and sleepy, and i want my bed. and my facebook. and my everything. *dramaqueen*

wish my kindergarten teacher would have told me bout this from the moment i said i wanted to be a doctor 17 years ago, i would have totally switched my ambition to being a cook 0_0

The Long And Winding Road.

i am about to embark on a new journey, a journey named koas (clinical), for 1.5years.
no more classes, lectures sgt dh *gone were the days org sign kan attendance* :D
i'll be starting my clinical in an hour :-ss
gosh, i don't know what to feel.
i want to be excited, i want to love this, but seeing others yang dah start asyik complain penat + boring + sux through their facebook status (because u know, facebook status is the new punching bag) makes me doubt my own excitedness.
anyway, i shall find out soon enough if i'll be in the hate it or love it group *gulp*

mental preparation :
1. being yelled at is normal.
2. being yelled at is normal.
3. being yelled at is normal.

0_0

owh, thanks to those who wished me luck! i'll be needing it :D

All My Loving.

Close your eyes and I'll kiss you,
Tomorrow I'll miss you,
Remember I'll always be true.

And then while I'm away,
I'll write home everyday,
And I'll send all my loving to you.

I'll pretend that I'm kissing,
The lips I am missing,
And hope that my dreams will come true.

And then while I'm away,
I'll write home everyday,
And I'll send all my loving to you.

by The Beatles

More Than Words.

do you know the study of handwriting is called Graphology?
i wonder if there's a study for text messaging.
because i think, like handwriting, we can recognise people from the way they text too.
everyone has their own special way of texting.
like how one has a signature smell. you know, when u smell something, a perfume maybe, then u automatically think of that person because that person always smells like that. dont worry, i too dont see how this statement is relevant in this context.
anyway as i was saying, special way of texting:

• some put a string of dots at the end of each sentences...........
• some end their sentences with exclamation marks! and its not because they're mad.
• some have a unique way of spelling certain words like, nebes = nervous
• some add on emoticons, for ym-freaks especially :)) :-" <:-P :-*. guilty as charged.
• some type down full sentences, with proper spelling, ie my dad.
• some use shortforms for everyyyy word, and it'll be like a riddle or a code that you have to decipher to know what they actually meant.
• some add ^^ to their text, or haihh or wuhooo

so u see, i think FBI or CSI should have a special team dedicated for text messaging. or maybe they already do. i have no idea why i'm writing about this. maybe it's to avoid the bigger problem i have in hand which i refuse to face, at least not yet, not now. if i can only shout out one question to the world, it would be "why????". but i know and and i still believe that everything happens for a reason. I just have to wait, very patiently, for the reason.

Quiet Nights Of Quiet Stars.

don't you just hate it when you're really tired and sleepy but u just cant seem to fall asleep?

then u'll waste time by tossing and turning in bed.

then u'll get bored.

then u'll start to think. bout life and stuff. and everyone knows thats not a good thing.

then u'll get all kinds of emotions inside of you.

then u'll get restless.

and that will bring us back to problem number 1 : can't sleep.

sigh.

fine, maybe it's just me.

Almost Lover.

u know i think i once heard someone said,

Love is what makes u smile when u're tired.

well, thank u Love then=)

My Best Days Are Ahead Of Me.

My Best Days Are Ahead Of Me

by Danny Gokey

Blowing out the candles

On another birthday cake

Old enough to look back

And laugh at my mistakes

Young enough to look at the future

And like what I see

My best days are ahead of me

Life hasn't always been a party

But mostly it's been good

There's only one or two things

That I'd change if I could

I don't get lost in the past or get stuck

In some sad memory

My best days are ahead of me

Age ain't nothing but a number

Sometimes I have to wonder

What does it really mean

But hey, I'm still putting in together

I keep getting better

If I keep getting better

I can be whatever I wanna be

My best days are ahead of me

I got sunsets to witness

Dreams to dance with

Beaches to walk on and,

Lovers to kiss

'Coz a whole lotta world out there

That I can't wait to see

My best days are ahead of me

(hopefully)

Lady In Red.

fffine. I'm back in jogja. but i'm happy. no no, i am not that insane just yet, i'm not happy to be back, i am happy for the last one hour i had in malaysia before boarding that mean cruel flight who took me far far away from my everything 0_0

i had a really nice birthday though, nothing much, but the people who remembered and went out of their way to wish made it all the more special. went out with the family for dinner at halock cafe penang.

i read a really interesting novel, "High Fidelity" by Nick Hornby. i was always skeptic about male authors before. until i read this one. it was really nice, because he tells it like it is. no sugar-coating stuff, just pure ugly truth, how men view relationships, breakups and makeups. my favourite part of the story, is when the guy mention a few things that he did that are just mean and unforgiveable, but then he said "before you judge, although you've probably already done so, go away and write the worst four things you have done, don't dress these things up, or try to explain them, just write them in a list in the plainest language possible. Finished? OK, so who's the arsehole now?"

it's true you know. we are always quick to judge. and how come it's wrong when someone does something bad, but it's okei when you do it?

i understand quite well now why we choose to live in denial sometimes, why we sometimes find ourselves in hopeless romantic situations that we know we shouldn't be in. i think it is because we're tired of asking questions. and just like a curious 6year-old who's fed up because he's not getting any answer, we stop asking altogether. unanswered questions like,
"If he/she said that, then why aren't we...."

"If he/she did that, then it must have meant something, but how come..."

"If he/she's happy, and i'm happy, then why can't we..."

You see, there's just no answer to these questions, and if you keep on thinking bout it, you'll go bonkers. so best is not to think, and just feel what we feel. Ppl will usually decide to just go with the flow and let nature takes its course. If fate would have it that i'll end up in a cat fight in the middle of the street somewhere someday, well, so be it.

he also said that we're afraid that our children will get involve in drugs, or weapons or war and we do our best to protect them from it but what about heartaches? because it is as dangerous and as painful.

these are a few things that i find quite interesting from the novel, in the author's own words :

"it's only just beginning to occur to me that it's important to have something going on somewhere, at work or at home, otherwise you're just clinging on."

"If i lived in Bosnia, then not having a girlfriend wouldn't seem like the most important thing in the world, but here in Crouch End it does."

"You need as much ballast as possible to stop you floating away, you need people around you, things going on, otherwise life is like some film where the money ran out, and there are no sets, or locations, or supporting actors, and it's just one bloke on his own staring into the camera with nothing to do and nobody to speak to, and who'd believe in this character then?"

on breaking up..."Weird eh? You spend Christmas at somebody's house, you worry about their operations, you give them hugs and kisses and flowers, you see them in their dressing gown....and then bang, that's it. Gone forever. And sooner or later there will be another woman, another christmas. They're all the same. Only the adresses, and the colours of the dressing gown, change."

"We got to adolescence and stopped dead. and why does it bother Barry so much that she is seeing someone? Because he's worried about how life is turning out, and he's lonely, and lonely people are the bitterest of them all."

I couldnt agree more with that last quote. The worst thing that could ever happen to anyone is to lead a bitter life with a bitter heart, so help me God I hope I never will.

Perhaps Love.

Perhaps love is like a star,
So bright but at a distance
Or maybe like the ocean,
Deep and full of passion.

Perhaps love is like a bird,
Singing sweetly by the roses,
Or just like an open book,
Full of adventures and surprises

Perhaps love is like an eagle,
So graceful and so brave,
Or like a blanket in the night,
Keep you warm and feeling safe.

Perhaps love is like winter,
Peaceful, white and pure
Or something so familiar,
Like a cup of hot cocoa.

Perhaps love is unpredictable,
as wild fire in the forest,
Or soft and so tender,
Like lovers secret kisses.

Perhaps love is just an illusion,
And nothing of it is true,
But my memories of love
Will always be of you.

-chloe-
14032010

The Way You Look Tonight

yayy another wedding! and another one this monday. the best had to be my cousin's on the 27th of February (all of the above pictures), it was special because after sooooooo many family weddings that i missed, i finally could attend this one. it was great, except for the band playing really weird ghazal songs. had fun laughing bout it with bu iman and firas though:))

i've always thought the song "the way you look tonight" by michael buble is the most beautiful wedding song, like in the movie My Bestfriend's Wedding :x

march has always been a special month for me. not only because it's my birth month, but also the birth month of my loved ones as well. Hope this month and the year that follows bring us luck, joy, happiness and love for ever after~

and i now understand what they meant by "you had me at hello",

Happy Birthday 13thmarch1987 :)

Those Were The Days.

Dedicated to my bestfriend Farah Hanani,

Thanks for a wonderful weekend. Walaupun skejap kat cni kan, tp terharu sgt sebab sanggup dtg jauh2 to see me :) Mesti penat kann farah, sorrrry tauu, hope u had a great time like i did too :) My favourite part has got to be sesi luahan perasaan over sundae by the sea tu hehe, tringat plak time kita slalu sembang kat meja bulat jasin smbil minum milo :) hehe anyway thanks again, and most of all thanks for being someone i could trust, someone i could always depend on, and someone i care deeply about. smile always, sayang farah :-*

That Thing You Do.

i just don't understand one thing (well a lot of things actually, but this one tops the chart)

how is it possible that the person who made u cry a river, tore your heart up into tiny little pieces sometimes until u cant even figure out how to put it together again, the one who stole nothing from you yet still left you feeling lost and empty, is the same person who you're most comfortable with, who can make u smile in between tears, make u laugh out loud when u dont even feel like it, the one you've come to realized u just can't live without?

Tie A Yellow Ribbon.

"I'm coming home, I've done my time,

Now I've got to know what is and isn't mine,

If you received my letter, telling you i'd soon be free,

Then you'll know just what to do, if you still want me..."

hee that's a lovely song, by Tony Orlando, kinda suits my mood now huh, i mean not that i've done time literally, but it sure the hell feels like it. can u believe it, 3 and a half years, and now i'm done. wuhooooo! did my very last exam yesterday, it wasnt all that good, but i did it, and im done <:-P

rasa mcm baru orientation week, hehe, nak clinical rotation dah...

ouh, my bff farah hanani is officially in her final year now! soo proud of u >:D<

sgt ramai yg dah grad, yg akan grad in a few months, yg tgh cari kerja (chaiyokk shimm), yg dah kerja, yg dah kawen! aishh seriously ppl need to slow down the marriage train jap, the pressure is on us single ladies ;)

anddddd i'm gonna be 23 in a couple of weeks!!!!! omg.

as an end to this post, i'll put down the rest of the lyrics from the song i mentioned earlier. just makes u smile at the end of it, no? :)

Bus driver please look for me

cause I couldn't bear to see what i might see

I'm really still in prison, and my love she holds the key

A simple yellow ribbon is what i need to set me free

I wrote, and told her please...

Tie a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree,

It's been three long years,

Do you still want me?

If I don't see a ribbon round the old oak tree,

I'll stay on the bus, forget about us,

Put the blame on me,

If I don't see a yellow ribbon, round the old oak tree.

Now the whole damn bus is cheering,

And I can't believe I see.....

A HUNDRED YELLOW RIBBONS ROUND THE OLD OAK TREE =)

Taking Chances.

woww, this is my hundredth post :-> can u believe it, i've merepek in 99 posts. woww.

so just a few random thoughts for this 100th one.

i read back my diary when i was still in school, and i couldn't help but laugh at my silly self. and i came up with a few advices for 15year-old girls out there:
1. no matter how you feel, no matter how sure you are, no matter how cute the guy is, you are NOT in love with him. u're 15! u dont even know what love is.
2. if u ever feel like writing a note/card/letter to him, DON'T. trust me, at 15, u're probably write something stupid that you would regret later in life.
3. if he borrowed your stapler, it meant that he needs to staple something. it did not mean that he wants to move in with u.
4. when u're 22, u're probably join the "ewww i cant believe i liked you. what was i thinking?" group in facebook :))

i've submitted my thesis! Alhamdulillah. as useless as i feel this whole thesis is, i feel like it somehow taught us about team work and friendship and patience. i couldnt have completed my thesis without the help of my friends. thank you so much.

And i think this is such a sweet song:

"If you are chilly, here take my sweater,

If your head is aching, i'll make it better,

'Cause I love the way you call me Baby,

And you, take me the way I am"

-ingrid michaelson-

p/s: do you believe in second chance?

Isn't It Romantic?

so lately i've been watching back this 80's comedy, the Cosby Show.
there's this one episode called "Isn't It Romantic?"

In this episode, the dad, that is Cosby, and his two son-in-laws, made a bet on who is the most romantic husband among the three of them. They came to this bet because of Theo, Cosby's unmarried son, who said that marriage is like a graveyard, it is where romance go to die. So to prove him wrong, these 3 gentlemen bet that they could still be romantic and impress their wives by buying them a gift, but the gift should only cost them 25dollars or less.

so the three men set out in the search of a perfect gift for their wives. and this is what they bought :

son-in-law 1# : when his wife open the gift box, there was a single pearl on a necklace string. he said that he knew how much she wanted pearls, but he couldnt afford it, so he decided to buy and add on one to the string for each year of their lives together.

son-in-law 2# : in a time capsule box he bought, he put in a handkerchief which he used to wipe the lipstick off his lips the first time they kissed, and also a flower stem from their wedding day.

the dad : he started out with a story. he said, many many years ago, there was this teenage boy with his girlfriend, went to a store to share a soda. and the girl saw a wooden barrette (hair clip), with a glass stone in the middle of it. the girl loved it, and wanted it so badly, but the boy had no money then to buy it for her. so for today's occasion, he said, he made a few calls, and tried to locate that very same hair clip to give to his wife, and he managed to get it.

the wife, turned to him and said,
"u remember me wanting that barrette?"
yes, the husband said.
"u called long distance to get me that barrette?"
yes, he said feeling very much delighted.
"that's very sweet Cliff"
thank you, he said
"but i never wanted that hair clip."
o'oh.
"Eunice Chantily wore that barrette and i said it was tacky! what i wanted that time was a green plastic bracelet Cliff! NOT that tacky barrette!"

and then she open and took out what was in the box expecting to see that ugly hair clip in her hands, but guess what was in it instead?

the green plastic bracelet! :)

guess what they're trying to say is that you dont need to buy expensive gifts to impress or be romantic, it's the story and the thought behind it that counts. like for me, if someone just as much as remember and buy me my favourite drink, i would consider that as a romantic gesture.

so i told a friend, about how nice it would be like to have a romantic husband. you know to be in a romance filled marriage.

and what she replied made me think hard on the quality of men (and women) of today.

she said (and just for fun, read it in an african-american accent),
"honey," she said "in this day and time, you'd be lucky to just be in a marriage with a husband who does not abandon you in the middle of it!"

and that apparently, ladies and gentleman, is the truth,

and it scared the living daylights out of me.